An Elephant Is Never Wrong

 
So anyone who really knows me knows that I'm a self-proclaimed Suessophile and that my favorite character of all time is Horton the Elephant.

And the most delightful book I have ever encountered is none-other-than Horton Hatches the Egg.

And from it, spawns the epitaph on my tombstone . . .

I meant what I said

and I said what I meant.

An elephant's faithful

one hundred percent!

Good Lord, the trials and tribulations that poor elephant went through simply to stick to his word!  Not only did he have to bear the humiliation of his friends' taunts, he had to sit on that nest through a long, icy winter.  And next came the hunters with his huge elephant-body in their cross-hairs, following quickly by that long, sea-sickening journey on that bobblely ship to New York, and that humiliation once-again to be the freak-show in the circus . . . all because that good-for-nothing lazy, Mayzie Bird left the flesh-of-her-flesh and egg-of-her-egg to fly off to Palm Beach!

How could she?

But it recently occurred to me that perhaps Dr. Seuss got his story mixed up a bit.   Perhaps. . .  I mean, maybe. . . perhaps it could be. . . possibly. . . THAT HORTON THE ELEPHANT WAS UP IN THAT TREE BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF A MOUSE!  PERHAPS HE SHOVED THAT MAYZIE BIRD OFF HER NEST IN HIS FRENZIED ATTEMPT TO RUN AWAY FROM SOME FURRY AND TAIL-SWEEPING RODENT !!!

So where does that leave a Horton fan like myself?  One who has internalized his motto and adopted it as her own?   How does this grab you?

I said what I meant

and I meant what I said

If I have to go down there,

I'd rather be dead!

Yeah, I'm still good with Horton,

for his motto still fits. . .

Brown Mice and Rat. . . the poem

I hear you don't like Mice-and-Rat.

Can you, would you, confirm that?

I DO not like Brown-Mice-and-Rat.

I WILL confirm that, Mr. Cat! 

 Could you stand them in a car?

Would you, could you, in a bar?

Not in a car, not in a bar, 

I could not stand them, there you are!

I do not like them Mr. Cat,

I DO not like Brown-Mice-and-Rat!

Would you scream if on a plane?

Would you stay if on a train?

Not on a train, not in a car;

not on a plane, or in a bar!

I do not like them Mr. Cat;

I do not like Brown-Mice-and-Rat!

And if, one day, while on a search,
you found them lurking in your church? 

IF . . . I found them in the church,
I'd surely leave you in the lurch.
There is no doubt within my mind
I'd leave those rodents far behind!

Would you stand them in a pinch?

Could you come within an inch?

Not in pinch, within the inch;

even a yard, would be too hard.

Not on a train, not in a car,

nor on a plane, or in a bar!

I do not think them very nice;

I do not like Brown-Rat-and-Mice!

Would you like them in a cage?

Do you think you'd still feel rage?

I'd feel the rage, if in a cage;

within a yard, would be too hard!

Forget the train, 
the car, and plane;

they are not nice, 
those Rats-and-Mice!

I DO not like them Mr. Cat.

I'LL NEVER LIKE BROWN-MICE-AND-RAT !!!

Why DO you not like Rat-and-Mice?

Why is it that they don't seem nice?

I do not like the Mice-and-Rat

because they go like this-and-that.

They have long tails that look bizarre,

and you don't know where they are!

They would be, could be, on a train;

they might be, quite be, on a plane.

A bar is where they might call home.

You never know how far they roam! 
And if I saw them in a church,
I'd surely leave you in the lurch!

They're sneaky things, those Mice-and-Rat;

YOU SHOULD GO STUFF THEM IN YOUR HAT! 
And if you take them all away,
I'll live to see another day! 

p.s.  . . .and, Mr. Cat, thanks to my fear-induced food aversions,

 I no longer like Green Eggs and Ham either, 

but I think we covered that in a past post!