So you're curious to know exactly what it was that "undid" A Mom on Spin?
I think it was a slow process really. . .
Perhaps it was her three daughters. I tell you, Veggie, Trigger, and Ponzi would undo even the most sane among us. (And to the best of my knowledge A Mom on Spin had never been nominated for any awards in the sanity department to begin with.)
But
those three daughters with their crazy dietary requirements. . .
VEGANS. . . can you imagine? And how about that little trip down GLUTEN
FREE lane? And an someone tell me just what's with this ORGANIC
thing? Do you know how much that stuff costs?
Oh yes, the money they spend. . . Don't get me started on THAT! All I can say is that Ponzi is aptly named! And even though Drip Dry constantly accuses our Mom on Spin
of being fiscally irresponsible and not caring about their financial
future, he doesn't understand what it's like to battle with those
daughters for money.
And let me just remind you that any time he's entered the arena, Drip Dry's come up empty-pocketed too. And so he leaves the gladiator negotiations to his wife. His poor, church-lady wife. . .
Pedicures.
Did I hear someone say pedicures? Who could afford pedicures for three daughters? You know what the saddest thing is? I hear that A Mom on Spin even goes to the "curist" herself these days. . . That's right. . . the whole If you can't beat 'em, join 'em thing. . .
Yes, and she's a vegetarian now too. Heaven help us!
But she still doesn't go to The Mall. We'll give her that.
And she hasn't dabbled in the Sticky Boob department.
And she def doesn't go to the movies.
But
need I remind you that the ban on movie viewing can be attributed to
her other "problem"? You know. . . I believe the official name is
"musophobia". . . but it's really Mouse-a-Phobia. . . or - in reality - Rodent-Phobia!!!
And how about these autoimmune diseases that all of the female members of the Spin
family (excluding the dog. . .) now suffer from? Lupus? Guillain
Barre? Raynauds? Sjogren's Syndrome? Have you ever encountered anything
as strange as that?
So you still want to know what
"undid" our little meat-eating-pedicure-and-rodent-hating-church-lady
and turned her into a vegetarian-eating-foot-pampering-fear-induced Mom on Spin?
As
if the swirl of tofu, twizzlers and tampons wasn't enough???? (Oh. . .
I'm sorry. . . I stand corrected. They would be ORGANIC twizzlers!)
Well read on, my friends.
Just you read right on. . .
