Unlike my short romance with yoga, I wouldn't consider myself an actual Singing Bowl Drop Out - yet - but I failed to attend the meditation I had signed up for this morning.
Why?
In all honesty, I think I may be afraid because the experience itself was the very last thing I did before I was hospitalized. In fact, I recall having a very real dizzy spell before entering the classroom. The beginning of the dreaded illness.
Will it ever go away? Will I ever stop thinking about and rehashing my close call? Is it possible to stop worrying about the possibility of it happening again?
Yet I've come so far. This is the very first week that I found myself beginning to feel better. . . to have a bit more energy and lose that hollow feeling inside of me. To feel like my old self again (not exactly like my old healthy self, but like the new normal that comes with Sjogren's.)
Time. I suppose it will just take time.
