Dear
Life,
We persevered despite your setbacks.
Are you surprised? Did we foil your plans? Were you astonished to find
that we danced over your hot coals and came through on the other side? (Or
thought we did???)
Oh yes, we were a little battle-scarred and a whole lot wiser, but we
thought we had you beat. Besides, we had
much bigger fish to fry in our household.
My daughters had entered their teenage years.
Talk about battles! Do you
remember what you were like before the word “unlimited” was used in conjunction
with cell phone plans? Do you remember
Megan’s 4,032 texts messages in one month at ten cents a text? Do you remember
underage drinking? Unauthorized use of
credit cards? Curfews, concerts, and
college applications?
And how about the introduction of “adhesive breast forms” (or “sticky
boobs” as I used to refer to them?) Was
it the dog’s fault that she happens to be a retriever and loved to store them
away in the back of her crate, leaving them filled with pet fur when my
daughters wanted them? I applauded her
efforts – at least I wasn’t the only one who wanted those girls to dress
modestly from time to time. If the
outfit wasn’t big enough to accommodate a regular bra, it plainly shouldn’t be
worn!
Do you remember the first time I found a leopard print thong in the
household laundry; knowing with certainty it hadn’t been spawned from my old
lady granny panties overnight? Or the
time when I determined an astute laundress could hang a whopping 26 thongs from
her pinkie?
Yes, those were the days, my friend. And my daughters lived them to
their fullest.
Signed,
a very tired and
grateful,
